Hodgepodge

I feel like I’ve been floating in my little boat of uncertainty for months and months. The pandemic, and all its outfalls, has thrown me into the liminal space and made me feel at sea. And while things seem to be improving with more and more people getting vaccinated, I’m still having a difficult time making plans for the future.

Thing is, I love having plans. I love having goals to work toward. I love dreaming about what’s next.

But the pandemic has pretty much killed a lot of that.

Is that the lesson I’m supposed to learn?

Is this time supposed to teach me to focus on the present, appreciate it, and stop planning so much?

But why can’t I do both?

Can’t I have plans for the future and still appreciate the present moment?

Can’t I be grateful for what I have today while still dreaming about tomorrow?

Maybe what I need to learn is how to hold these two seemingly conflicting desires within myself?

It doesn’t have to be one or the other, it can be both.

My plans change ALL THE TIME. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you know that is totally true. And the thing is, I’ve been okay with changes in the past. But during this pandemic, I’ve had a much harder time forgiving myself for the projects, goals, and ventures that don’t work out. I’ve been experimenting a lot–which is a big part of who I am–but nothing feels like it’s becoming what I want it to become.

Maybe that’s the greater issue?

Maybe it’s my insistence that things result in something tangible in the physical world?

But what about the metaphysical world?

Haven’t I changed for the better because of my experiments?

Haven’t others also received benefits from them as well?

The answer is a resounding YES.

Just because my recent ventures haven’t resulted in the typical measurements of success in the physical world (more money, more gigs, bigger audience, etc.), does not mean they haven’t been of great value to me and to others.

Maybe this is the key?

Plan for the future, do the projects I want to do, and assess both the conventional and metaphysical outcomes. (By the way, did you know that “metaphysical” means “over and beyond the physical”?) Here’s an example.

Is this project profitable and is this project giving me energy rather than taking away energy?

Valuing the metaphysical and emotional doesn’t mean that I don’t care about selling more books and zines, making more money, or growing my audience–I care about all of these things–but I need to balance the physical outcomes with how the work makes me feel. Because if I don’t feel good while doing the work, then all the physical success is not going to matter one iota.

Again, it’s not one or the other, but both.

I have to admit, though, it’s hard to start again and believe that it’s going to be different this time. Since I’ve been floating in my little boat for a long time and none of the shores I’ve visited have resulted in what I wanted, I’ve stopped paddling. For months, I’ve been staying in one spot.

But it’s not my natural state of being. I don’t feel good staying in one spot and letting the wake and the wind rock me. I need to steer my ship.

This time, when I get to the next shore, I’m going to truly take my time exploring it. I’ll meander down every trail, pat the trunks of trees, even taste some strange fruits. I’ll take time to appreciate the present when things are good and when things are rough and I want to get back in the boat. This time, I’m going dig my toes into the sand and stay for a while.

Of course fear rears up whenever I think about paddling toward shore again. But I’d rather have fear than this ongoing angst and immobility. Time to take some deep breaths, drop my oars into the water, and start rowing. It’s okay if the next shore isn’t what I thought it would be. Who knows? It might be something better.

ps. Can you relate? If yes, are you floating or paddling?

Peg Cheng is the author of Rebel Millionaire, a guide for how to retire as a millionaire even if you make a modest income, and The Contenders, a novel that asks, can enemies become friends? She is also the proud owner of Plaid Frog Press with her husband Marcus Donner. Born in Southern California to Taiwanese parents, Peg currently lives in Seattle, Washington.

Photo by Alexander Schimmeck

This month marks the one-year anniversary of my career coaching practice. After much reflection, I’ve decided to close my practice at the end of March.

If this comes as a surprise to you, you’re not alone. It comes as a surprise for me too.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over nearly fifty years of being alive is that when it’s time to go, you gotta go.

This is a bittersweet farewell and yet, it feels like the right time too.

I’ve been helping people achieve their goals and dreams for 28 years. It’s crazy when I think about how long it’s been!

It all started when I worked as the Internship Coordinator for my alma mater at the University of California (UCI) Career Center during my senior year. After that fortuitous first job, I continued on a career services path without realizing it was the path for me.

I went on to work as the assistant to the Director of Career Services at my other alma mater, the University of Washington (UW) Evans School of Public Policy & Governance. Then, I graduated from Coach U in 2001 and became a career coach when no one even knew what “coaching” was. I then lucked out and was given the great opportunity to create the first career services program for the UW School of Marine & Environmental Affairs.

After that, I moved to the UW Undergraduate Advising office where I helped thousands of college students discover the right major, while also helping prelaw students achieve their goal of attending law school. I then left the UW after 10 1/2 years of service to start my former company, Prelaw Guru, where I continued to help people reach their law school dreams.

Finally, this last year I’ve been helping job hunters, career changers, and entrepreneurs through a different kind of career coaching that blends career coaching techniques with tarot card readings. It’s been a lot of fun practicing at the crossroads of the practical and the metaphysical.

For the last 28 years, I’ve made plenty of mistakes and missteps in my life, but I’ve never regretted helping anyone reach their goals and dreams. Each and every one of of my clients has been a teacher for me and I’ve learned something valuable from every meeting I’ve had. I’m grateful that my path has helped so many people on their path to greater career fulfillment. It’s been an honor to serve.

The last day of my career coaching practice is Tuesday, March 30, 2021. Whether you’re a current client or a new client, if you’d like a coaching session with me, book your appointment here.

You can use your coaching session to discuss any career-related challenges you’re going through whether you’re a job hunter, career changer, and/or entrepreneur. Again, I’m not your typical career coach. I blend intuition with intellect, and the practical with the metaphysical, and I’ll use both career coaching techniques and tarot cards to help you gain insights and perspective.

Here’s what some of my clients say about their sessions with me.

“Talking to you brought so much clarity (you are right: perspective is your superpower!) and the cards gave me some eye-opening insights about my writing that I didn’t think of before. I can already sense one of those blocks opening up. This morning, I feel encouraged, energized, and more confident. One hour with you and the cards is a different but essential form of wellness: wellness for the soul. Thank you so much, Peg.”

“Peg is such a gifted listener, interpreter, and coach! As a client, I felt heard, nurtured, and encouraged by her intuition. I appreciated her thoughtful reflections about what she was hearing from me and from what she was seeing in the cards. I highly recommend this unique opportunity to combine the tarot with career coaching.”

“Thank you so much, Peg! I really appreciated this session with you. I feel like each reading tapped into the silent whispers of my soul. Thank you for helping me get back in touch with the answers that ring true to my intuitive self. You are amazing at what you do and I feel like this was the perfect creative spark that I needed after feeling pretty creatively “blocked” or stifled after some time. What you do is truly pure magic.”

I looked around when I was a young woman and there was no one saying what I wanted and needed to hear. I felt totally alienated, disoriented, crazy. I thought that there’s got to be somebody else who feels as I do.
— Audre Lorde

This is a public service announcement to bring you this awesome quote by poet Audre Lorde, but also to test my email subscription service which has been having glitches for the last month. I apologize if you subscribed to my blog but haven’t been receiving new blog posts. If you received an email with this post, please do me favor. Type “Got it!” or something like that in the comment box below so I know you received it. Thanks!

I made art regularly for 18 years from age 5 to 23.

Right before I turned 23, I moved from Southern California to Seattle to start my Master’s in Public Policy at the University of Washington. I also stopped making art.

It’s now 23 years later.

Except for a period of time when I got into rubber stamping with my friend Alisa and made a lot of my own greeting cards, I haven’t made art regularly in more than two decades. That’s a long time.

Finishing my novel draft gave me the freedom to sit back and relax a little. It’s been more than two years since I’ve felt this free to do what I want. It didn’t take long for me to realize what I wanted to do.

I wanted to make art again.

First thing I did was dump out all my art supplies on my bed. It wasn’t a lot–over the years, I’d given away many supplies because I wasn’t using them and wanted them to go to someone who would.

I wanted to create an Art Bag out of an old purse that I could grab anytime and start drawing, whether it was at home, in my garden, or out in the world. I looked through my supplies and picked the essential supplies that I needed.

I was missing a few things so I headed to the Dakota Art Store in my neighborhood. This was the first time I’d stepped foot in the place and it had been open for six years! I was filled with regret that I hadn’t visited earlier, but I put that aside because being in the store filled me with such joy.

Here’s my Art Bag. It contains the following:

• Canson Mix Media 5.5×8.5 inch spiral-bound sketchbook (cover is decorated with ephemera I’ve collected including a couch sticker from the Lagunitas Brewery, a Chinese red envelope (ang bao), and letterpress art by ilee papergoods)
• pencil
• 2 Prismacolor Col-Erase pencils in Copy Not NP Blue and and Rose
• 3 Faber-Castell Goldfaber Color pencils in Light Yellow Ochre, Burnt Ochre, and Black
• brass bullet pencil sharpener (keep it in a ziploc bag)
• 2 Marks A Lot thin-version permanent markers in black
• kneaded eraser (love this kind of erase so much more than the hard ones)
• scissors
• glue stick
• ruler

This month, as I took a break from writing, I allowed myself to draw whatever I wanted.

I decorated my Hubs’ birthday card envelope (yes, one of my nicknames for him is Snakey because he was born in the Year of the Snake).

I drew a character I’ve created called Fraidy Cat in chalk on a table at our local ice cream shop, Full Tilt. (By the way, if you live in Seattle and can’t eat dairy products (like me), check out Full Tilt. Every day, they have vegan flavors, along with their regular options.)

I sketched an idea I have for a zine called FROGGY, based on a short story I wrote about my stuffed frog (yep, you guessed it, his name is Froggy) years ago. I’m particularly proud of the drawing I made of my brown leather purse in the lower left-hand corner. It was the only thing I drew while looking at an actual object–everything else I drew freehand–and it delighted me that I could still do a decent still life.

I sketched some new clothes I got from my neighborhood used clothing store. Doing this gave me a sense of satisfaction, more so than if I had just hung them in my closet.

Yesterday, I drew a picture of Fraidy Cat, which is the drawing at the top of this essay. I want to make a zine about her–a cat that loves to read and wants desperately to be a writer, but is afraid to write. Drawing her made me happy. It also made me wonder why I stopped doing something that I love to do for so many years.

There are so many reasons why, and I’m not going to get into all of them here–though I think I will explore this in my future zines–but the main reason was, I thought I didn’t have time for it.

For the past 23 years that I’ve lived in Seattle, I’ve had this strong, overriding feeling that I had to work hard and earn a living, and making art just didn’t fit into that equation. Now, I realize that if I had drawn just five minutes a day, it would have made me happier as I continued to work and earn a living.

It’s amazing how long it takes me to learn a greater truth. But I’m also amazed at how quickly I can shift gears once I accept that truth.

I no longer feel right calling myself an author and a speaker. As I redesigned my web site this month, I took a leap and added “Artist” to my title.

It looked right. It felt right. It was like finding the missing piece to a puzzle that I didn’t even realize wasn’t finished.

I’m an author, a speaker, and an artist.

Peg Cheng is the author of The Contenders, a middle-grade novel that asks, can enemies become friends? She is currently writing another novel that is a re-imagining of the Snow White fairy tale set in 1980s Seattle. Peg is also the creator of Fear & Writing, a workshop for procrastinating writers from all walks of life.

I debated whether I wanted to post the poem I wrote for my pop-in-law Mr. Mark. My husband Marcus read it aloud at his memorial last week because I couldn’t get through it without crying. It seemed like a private thing–something just shared between me and the people at his memorial.

But then today, I thought, “What would Mr. Mark want?”

Not hard to guess. He’d want it posted. Mr. Mark would be thrilled that a poem was written about him.

Then, after logging onto Twitter this morning, I discovered that it’s World Poetry Day. Another push from the universe.

So, here it is.

What Do You Say?

What do you say to a man who is so honest he sometimes shocks you?

You say, I like you

What do you say to a man who always makes room for one more at the table?

You say, I admire you

What do you say to a man who sometimes makes you sad or mad or cry?

You say, I forgive you

What do you say to a man who smiles when he sees you, no matter how bad he feels?

You say, I cherish you

What do you say to a man who loves you with all his heart, and he’s got one great big ol’ heart?

You say, I love you…too

What do you say to a man who left you with so many stories, love, and laughter?

You say, I’ll remember you…always

The photo above is one of my favorite photos of Mr. Mark. It’s from last December, on his birthday, and he’s modeling the leg warmers (Kathy Ireland brand!) that Marcus and I gifted him. This is the way I want to remember him: laughing and making us laugh.

You’ll always be the Man of the Hour, Mr. Mark. I love you. I miss you.

Peg Cheng is the author of The Contenders, a middle-grade novel centered on the question, can enemies become friends? She is currently writing another novel that is a re-imagining of the Snow White fairy tale set in 1980s Seattle. Peg is also a writing coach giving help, encouragement, and feedback to writers from all walks of life.